


Clint Barton Totally Has A Super Sexy Army Boyfriend

by Mikey_is_a_zombie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Clint Barton totally has a super sexy army boyfriend, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 17:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikey_is_a_zombie/pseuds/Mikey_is_a_zombie
Summary: [17.12.2018; JBB, 00:37am]: Good Morning, Doll. Sorry that I didn't text before but the mission took longer than anticipated and I couldn't bring my phone. I've written you a letter, like totally old school romantic shit but I think it'll take longer to arrive than this text and I want you to know I´m okay. I hope you didn't worry too much, love you!"You're a dirty liar, Barton." Kate huffed throwing his mobile phone back at him, "you could have saved the money from bribing some dude to text you this. It's just depressing."The blond man had tried to convince Kate that he totally had a real and hot army boyfriend since she had set him up on a surprise blind date a few weeks ago but refused to show her a picture of the mysterious and totally existing boyfriend of his - or bring her any other kind of evidence for a matter of fact. Except this obviously fake text message. Why couldn't he just admit that he was lonely and his pizza and coffee consume and holing himself up in his apartment with Lucky was getting out of control?





	Clint Barton Totally Has A Super Sexy Army Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I don´t know how this happened, I was bored yesterday and suddenly - boom! 1000 words magically written!

[17.12.2018; JBB, 00:37am]: Good Morning, Doll. Sorry that I didn't text before but the mission took longer than anticipated and I couldn't bring my phone. I've written you a letter, like totally old school romantic shit but I think it'll take longer to arrive than this text and I want you to know I´m okay. I hope you didn't worry too much, love you!

"You're a dirty liar, Barton." Kate huffed throwing his mobile phone back at him, "you could have saved the money from bribing some dude to text you this. It's just depressing." 

The blond man had tried to convince Kate that he totally had a real and hot army boyfriend since she had set him up on a surprise blind date a few weeks ago, but stubbornly refused to show her a picture of the mysterious and totally existing boyfriend of his - or any other kind of evidence for a matter of fact. Except this obviously fake text message. Why couldn't he just admit that he was lonely and his pizza and coffee consume and the whole only leaving his Apartment to walk Lucky thing was getting out of hand?

Clint gaped at her unbelieving, "You asked for a proof of him and here it is! I swear, Bucky is real! It's not my fault that he has to be a soldier so you cannot meet him, Miss Conspiracy Theory!" 

"He is saved as JBB, Clint. Not even you are so awkward in relationships, where is the cute and romantic nickname? Where are the heart emojis and- and the contact picture? He doesn't even have a contact picture, Clint. This number isn't from your boyfriend, maybe someone you work with, a fuck buddy at most." 

Clint emptied his coffee before he pouted at Kate over the table, "You're twelve and it shows." He fired back, "Adults don't do that shit." He looked geniounly offended that Kate didn't believe him, but he couldn't blame her - this man hadn't been able to have relationships that lasted longer than a month in the last two years. How was Kate supposed that Clint suddenly managed to keep up a long-distance relationship for three months? 

"Steve has Tony saved as 'Sweetheart'" Natasha, who had been quiet up until now, suddenly decided to join into the conversation. 

"Nat, you traitor! Steve is like 90 in his mind! You even know Bucky!" Clint threw his arms up in the air in frustration and Natasha just smiled in her coffee as she pretended to take a sip. 

-

[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 17:29]: Dog Cops 2morrow nite?

[18.02.2019; Clint, 17:35]: busy 

[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 17:36]: ???  
[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 17:36]: It's the season finale?

[18.02.2019; Clint, 17:52]: sry I have to do stuff, its more important 

[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 17:55]: I'll call 911 your last concussion was worse than I thought!  
[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 18:27]: Clint?  
[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 18:46]: ???  
[18.02.2019; Katie Kate, 19:01]: Rude

-

Kate had meant to make more coffee after she had emptied the coffee pot, she really had - it wasn't her fault that Clint was out of coffee! She had told him that he was running low last weekend. Well, running low meant that there was one full packet of it left, but Clint basically lived off of coffee and coffee alone.  
So that there wasn't any of it left wasn't really Kate's fault and she could sit at Clint's kitchen island and read one of the magazines she always left lying around in his apartment without feeling guilty.

After the brief texts two days ago, Clint hadn't answered any of her messages or calls and Kate had decided that she would drive over to his apartment block to check up on him, just to make sure he hadn't gotten in any new fights with the tracksuit mafia - or worse, was left alone sulking on his couch!

"You're out of coffee, Clint." She casually informed the man behind her when she finally heard slow and heavy footsteps make their way down the stairs that led up to Clint´s bedroom without looking up, "Told you that you needed more." The steps stopped.  
Silence. 

Kate rolled her eyes, "Don't even try to kill me with your early-morning glare, I-" she fell silent when she finally looked up and didn't recognise the man who stood in the middle of the room. He only wore boxer briefs, his long hair fell messy in his face and he stared at Kate in shock. She only allowed herself to stare back for a few seconds because the man was built like a damn brick house with his broad chest and upper arms with the same extent as her thights, the left one completely covered by an unbelievably realistic tattoo sleeve, before she opened her mouth to say something, anything, that would make this situation less awkward, but the man was faster: 

"What the- Clint!" The man yelled the last part, taking one careful step back without looking away from Kate as if she was the suspicious one in the room, "There is a woman on your counter. And she says you're out of coffee!" 

It took Clint approximately ten seconds to fall out of bed, as a loud 'thump' indicated, find something to wear, as the boxer shorts he was wearing inside out suggested, and race down the stairs and almost barrel into the Greek God who still hadn’t stopped staring.  
"Kate!" Clint squeaked in an embarrassingly high voice, "What are you doing here?" 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe making sure you're not bleeding out on your couch? You haven't answered your phone in two days, idiot!" She snapped back because he could really not expect her to just go on like nothing happened, especially with his tendency to be beaten up or falling down stairs or hurt himself in any other way imaginable.  
"I've been- I told you I was busy!" Helplessly Clint gestured to the Greek God, "He- I- A little help here, Buck?" 

The man, Buck apparently, sighted and ran his right hand through his hair before explaining: "I just came back from my tour in Syria and hoped to spend some quiet time with my boyfriend. Thanks for making sure he isn't dead, though." He grinned a little apologetic and shrugged, "I thought he told his friends I was coming back..." 

Kate opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say for the first time in her life- Clint Barton totally had a super hot army boyfriend!


End file.
